The Foxy of the Opera
by firefox b
Summary: A twisted mixture of Phantom of the Opera lore, mainly from the musical but also drawing a bit from the literary original and the silent movie version, all passed through a furry filter with a fox as the phantom, and a nod to the movie, "Zootopia."


The Foxy of the Opera

Old Owners: "Well, congratulations, new owners, on buying the Paris Opera House! Here are your keys, and remember to keep Box 5 in the Grand Tier open for the opera ghost…"

New Owners: "Say what?!"

Old Owners: "Oh you know, the ghost! The 'Foxy of the Opera." He lives in the extensive network of sewers and tunnels below the Opera House. Don't cross him, or bad shit may happen." (they depart)

New Owners: "Yeah, like we believe that nonsense! Huh, what's this? A note saying that we should let Christine Gazelle sing the lead in the next performance. Well, that's not gonna happen. Why, she's just a chorus girl! It's signed, 'The Phantom.'"

(Later, Opera House diva Carlotta is singing the performance lead. The enormous main chandelier is dropped near her. She freaks out, leaving the lead singing role vacant for the next performance. The desperate owners of the Opera give the part to Christine Gazelle, who wows the audience due to taking lessons from a mysterious tutor who sings in her head during the night, and whispers in her ear during the day. Falling madly in love with her, the disfigured musical genius kidnaps his student when she shows interest in Viscount Raoul. Fainting from the ordeal, she awakens in the presence of The Foxy of the Opera, a dashing figure in evening clothes, a cape, and a half facial mask…)

Christine: "So, do you live down here in the sewers beneath the Opera House?"

Phantom: "Yeah, I was once tortured down here as a prisoner during the Franco-American wars. I got clocked pretty badly by a can of 'Spaghetti-O's,' I'll tell you. It messed up my face pretty bad. Now I hate the damn things!"

Christine: "Oh, you poor thing!"

Phantom: "Man's inhumanity to furries made me what I am! Hey, care to go on a tour of my digs?"

Christine: "Why not? Opera is pretty boring, 'ya know."

(They mount horses that look suspiciously like Rainbow Dash and Applejack, and follow trails that lead deeper into the subterranean world of the Opera House. Eventually discounting, the duo next board a gondola with a duck's head that is propelled by the Phantom using a pole. He sings as he does this…)

Phantom: "Sing, my Angel of Music!"

Christine: "He's here, the Foxy of the Opera! (vocalizing) Ahh!"

Phantom: "Sing!"

Christine: "Ahhh!"

Phantom: "Sing for me!"

Christine: "Ahhh!"

Phantom: "SING-FOR ME!"

Christine: "AHHHHHHHH!"

Phantom: "Ouch!- Hey, we foxes have very sensitive ears, 'ya know. Your voice is a powerful instrument!"

Christine: "Thank 'ya, thank 'ya very much!"

Phantom: "Why, with your big mouth and my brains, we could make albums…go on tours…think of the money!"

(Musing, the Phantom sits down at a large organ along the wall, and begins playing "In A Gadda-Da-Vida" by Iron Butterfly. Overcome by curiosity, Christine sneaks up from behind, and snatches the Phantom's mask from his face. He is aghast, and wheels around, his face revealed as a perfectly normal, handsome fox's face…)

Christine: "Hey! You weren't disfigured by a can of Spaghetti-O's! What gives with the mask?"

Phantom: "I like Halloween, alright? And wearing capes…they're dramatic…and skulking around underground, where the rent is cheap…and teasing all of these stuffed shirts at the opera! I'm just a musical genius in need of a protégé, and I think you might be it. Besides, I think I like you…so, what do you think, kid? You could be a contender!"

Christine: "Well, this Raoul viscount guy kinda wants me too, so what's a girl to do?"

Phantom: "Be an effete French aristocrat if you can, but if you can be with a fox, always be with a fox!"

Christine: "But they're chasing after you right now, with guns and pointy sticks!"

Phantom: "Oh, bother! I'm the Prince with a thousand enemies. When they catch me, they'll kill me. But first they have to catch me! Go, Christine, go to Zootopia! Work hard, and some day you'll perform with dancing tigers before crowds!"

Christine: "But what about the angry mobs?"

Phantom: "Don't worry about me, pretty gazelle lady. My Cape Fu is the best! Now GO!"

Christine: "A girl's gotta make a living. Catch you later!"

Phantom: "It's over now, the Music of the Night. Hey, I bet that Lon Chaney could play me in a movie, and Andrew Lloyd Webber write a musical about me! Yeah, that's the ticket! Men will fear me, and women desire me!"

(Sits down at the organ, and plays "The Triumph of Don Juan," laughing maniacally...)


End file.
